Gerry Canavan

the smartest kid on earth

Posts Tagged ‘vast left-wing conspiracies

Tuesday Night Links

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Nation’s Uncles Enter Last Stage Of Prep For Thursday’s Thanksgiving Debates.

WASHINGTON—Sequestered in their homes today to review talking points on a range of topics from gay marriage to Gaza to the wisdom of purchasing a hybrid car, the nation’s uncles have reportedly entered their final stages of preparation for Thursday’s highly anticipated sit-down Thanksgiving dinner debates. “Now, now—now Bob—Bob!—you can’t just go saying… Hold on—you can’t just go saying that without considering the consequences,” said the loudmouth contrarians, talking into their mirrors as they vigorously rehearsed various interruptions and smug denunciations on subjects such as political bias in the media and whether or not underage nephews should be allowed to have a few sips of wine on a holiday. “If you thought about—thank you, Mary, it was delicious—if you thought about the consequences for one second, you’d realize how completely wrong that plan is. That’s exactly what these congressmen think, and that’s why we’re headed off a fiscal cliff. You see?” Sources confirmed the nation’s uncles are drafting their closing remarks around the theme of how the crust on the pumpkin pie could be “a little flakier.”

* Seems legit.

21 Pictures that Sum Up the Whole History of Science Fiction.

Astronomers discover a planet so massive it defies classification.

* CFP: The Midwest Interdisciplinary Graduate Conference, February 15-16, 2013, Milwaukee. Conference theme: “Failure.”

Forty years from now, America will be twice as rich on average as we are today. But most of that wealth will go to the very richest households. We only have a budget crisis if they refuse to pay higher taxes.

* And there goes my absolute last shred of hope for humanity: It’s almost impossible to believe, but authorities along the northern Gulf of Mexico are having to investigate a rash of violent attacks on dolphins after bodies were found with gunshot wounds, cuts, and missing tails.