Gerry Canavan

the smartest kid on earth

Posts Tagged ‘short stories

‘Some Zombie Contigency Plans’

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“Some Zombie Contingency Plans.” A short story by Kelly Link.

Modern art is a waste of time. When the zombies show up, you can’t worry about art. Art is for people who aren’t worried about zombies. Besides zombies and icebergs, there are other things that Soap has been thinking about. Tsunamis, earthquakes, Nazi dentists, killer bees, army ants, black plague, old people, divorce lawyers, sorority girls, Jimmy Carter, giant squids, rabid foxes, strange dogs, news anchors, child actors, fascists, narcissists, psychologists, ax murderers, unrequited love, footnotes, zeppelins, the Holy Ghost, Catholic priests, John Lennon, chemistry teachers, redheaded men with British accents, librarians, spiders, nature books with photographs of spiders in them, darkness, teachers, swimmming pools, smart girls, pretty girls, rich girls, angry girls, tall girls, nice girls, girls with superpowers, giant lizards, blind dates who turn out to have narcolepsy, angry monkeys, feminine hygiene commercials, sitcoms about aliens, things under the bed, contact lenses, ninjas, performance artists, mummies, spontaneous combustion. Soap has been afraid of all of these things at one time or another. Ever since he went to prison, he’s realized that he doesn’t have to be afraid. All he has to do is come up with a plan. Be prepared. It’s just like the Boy Scouts, except you have to be even more prepared. You have to prepare for everything that the Boy Scouts didn’t prepare you for, which is pretty much everything.

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September 11, 2008 at 12:42 pm

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You All Stink – 2

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The Willesden Herald, having already shat on your dreams once this year when it declared that no one deserved to win their annual contest, is back with twenty-seven reasons why your short story is no good. As a former editor of a literary journal, I can confirm that yes, your short story stinks, for many of these reasons. Via Bookslut.

Written by gerrycanavan

March 17, 2008 at 1:14 pm

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201

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201 stories by Anton Chekhov. Here’s “Lady with the Little Dog,” but believe it or not, he wrote others.

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November 11, 2007 at 3:21 pm

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