Gerry Canavan

the smartest kid on earth

Posts Tagged ‘schadenfreudelicious

Closing My Open Tabs, LOLRepublicans Edition

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I have a ton of tabs open representing the blogging I intended to do this week but never did. Let us begin with the ongoing implosion of the Republican Party.

* Secession! It’s everyone’s favorite new fantasy. Polls show a quarter of Texans like Gov. Crazy’s crazy idea, though said governor is now backpeddling. And if Texas does secede, some people are saying this time we should just let them go.

It would be the world’s thirteenth largest economy — bigger than South Korea, Sweden, and Saudi Arabia. But its worth would crater precipitously, after NAFTA rejected it and the United States slapped it with an embargo that would make Cuba look like a free-trade zone. Indeed, Texas would quick become the next North Korea, relying on foreign aid due to its insistence on relying on itself.


* In less hilarious eliminationist wingnuttery, an Illinois state senator has repeatedly suggested that “Illinois residents ‘are ready to shoot anyone who is going to raise taxes’ as much as Gov. Pat Quinn is proposing.” This talk never should have started back during the election, and really needs to stop.

* The ante’s likely been upped for forthcoming Republican antics because the tea parties were such a bust while Obama’s popularity remains consistently high, no matter what sort of shit they fling at the wall.

* How to become the Republican candidate for vice president. It’s easier than you think!

A.B. Culvahouse, a powerful Washington lawyer and former counsel to President Reagan, told an audience of Republican lawyers that for McCain, selecting a vice president came down to three questions: Why do you want to be vice president? Are you prepared to use nuclear weapons? And the CIA has identified Osama bin Laden, but if you take the shot there will be multiple civilian casualties. Do you take the shot?



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As someone who genuinely likes Barack Obama and genuinely dislikes John McCain (2008), I have to admit to feeling a certain amount of joy this week. The McCain camp just can’t seem to do anything righ. I came home from the library today to find, just for instance, the following breaking news from McCainLand:

* Sarah Palin promises to institute as one of her major reforms Barack Obama’s successful “Google for Government” law from 2006.

* John McCain, fresh from planning regime change in Spain, promises to get tough and fire someone the president doesn’t have the authority to fire.

* Then the McCain campaign decides to preemptively accuse Obama of lying about it.

* The polls are showing that Palin is the strategic mistake she’s always seemed to be.

* And FiveThirtyEight has characteristically excellent swing state analysis, showing just how deep in the weeds McCain actually is.

McCain Offense States
New Hampshire -1.6
Michigan -3.1
Pennsylvania -3.5
Wisconsin -4.5
Minnesota -4.9

In other political news, Bill O’Reilly is officially the last person on Earth to realize what a horrible disaster Bush has been as president. So I guess that’s pretty much everyone.

I know things can change quick in this business, but it’s been a wonderfully bad week for Republicans. Schadenfreudelicious.

Written by gerrycanavan

September 18, 2008 at 10:56 pm

That Should Work Out

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John McCain’s campaign has made Rudy Giuliani’s campaign manager their new political director. That should work out.

Written by gerrycanavan

July 7, 2008 at 2:58 pm